Thursday, November 17, 2016

Beginning of September

"You are pregnant" was the thought that came into my mind during the night.

It was the beginning of september in Idaho. I had been anticipating the monthly doom days of being a girl.  The week just didn't seem to come though, I didn't think much of it as being late wasn't unusual.

Then one night I woke up, it was still dark but almost morning time.  I had the distinct thought that "I was pregnant." I didn't feel sick but just felt it in my head and heart. I laid in bed in denial and pushed the thought away and tried to sleep more.

I couldn't go back to sleep though. I prayed that I was pregnant, then I prayed that I wasn't really pregnant. I wrested with the idea of being actually pregnant and if this could be happening in our life right now. I just laid there in bed and watched the light slowly enter our bedroom.

By morning time, I came to the conclusion that we couldn't be,  but thought I would take a test just to get it off my mind.

I got the test and went to the the bathroom. The horizontal negative line appeared right away and I relaxed inside. . . Then the vertical line slowly appeared intercepting the horizontal. It was positive. We were having a baby.

I took the test into the bedroom. Riley was up and all ready for our morning run. I showed him the test and we both just looked at each other.

The moments after were precious. I told him we should still go run, but he took me in his arms and we just laid back down in bed and cuddled and talked.

Our life shifted in that moment. The confirmation that you are going to be parents changes everything. It's no longer just the two of you together, but three. You don't ever go back to not being parents, it forever. It's was an overwhelming feeling of change, happiness, and shock.

The thought of having a baby makes life better. Picturing us holding a baby, that is half him and half me makes my heart so happy.

1 comment:

  1. I love these words too! Being pregnant.... magic. Having a baby.... magic... really hard magic haha. I love it all. But I am sleepy at the moment. But I still love it all a lot. I look at pictures of my little boy and just want to squeeze him tighter. He relies on his parents for all his needs right now, 100%, and it's lovely taking care of a precious little baby. Not always easy, but really really lovely and 5000% worth it.