Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Meltdown


The novelty of becoming a mom is wearing down. Exhaustion is setting in and hormones. We had our first public meltdowns yesterday and parenting disaster at the grocery store. I decided to go get some food for the week because our fridge is pretty dang empty.

Luke was in his carrier fast asleep and I had almost gotten everything we needed and then he woke up starving and screaming and I realized I missed his feeding time and there was no place to feed him, a cart full of groceries and he was completely unsoothable. We were making a scene and I couldnt wait in line with him yelling that way. So we ditched the cart in the middle of the store and left the store and he cried the whole entire walk home and I joined in too. 

We literally had nothing to make for dinner and no hands or energy to cook even if we did. Riley came home from a long day at work with a chaotic house and no food. So he ended up ordering up some dominos and he took Luke and I cleaned up a little and things turned out. 

The feelings of failure and guilt were real. I felt bad for forgetting to feed him, for the messy house and empty fridge, and when I finally get time to be with Riley and watch a show or just talk about day I can't keep my eyes open. I feel like not a very good mom or wife. 

This week in church in the Young Womens we are all memorizing a scripture and one of the girls shared Psalm 30:5:

"For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" 

I liked when she shared it and decided to memorize that one too... but didn't realize how new meaning and value would come this week. We literally have experienced angry weeping boy by night... but joy has come in the morning. 

Currently, Luke is sprawled out in quite contentment staring around and we are listening to some great soft baby music to make us smarter. I just wanted to write because I know meltdowns and trials are ahead, but there is always a new day and  moments of joy and bliss too. (Also, I know this meltdown is super small and nothing in reality, especially compared to moms with more than one child.. they are probably like "just wait, you are so naive"... But there are moments of joy still right Sanetta?!!"

1 comment:

  1. Great blog posts! You're recording good things that you'll want to remember. Keep up all the loving on your boys!

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