Saturday, June 20, 2020

Sunshine List

I’m exhausted.
Truly, deeply, can’t be a normal-human-being tired. I feel like we’ve all been in a state of ‘survival mode’ for awhile, but the sleepless hours are compounding and struggle with Clay has been extra real this week. Feeling on the edge of burnout.

I took Clay to the doctor twice this week (once was unsuccessful left in tears bc of language barrier, and the other was across tokyo and better). I convinced myself he had to have something wrong/sick because he’s seriously so miserable all the time. Ive even gave up dairy in attempts to make him more happy.

He just cries for no reason alllll the time and impossible to sooth. We really struggle with feedings and feel engorged everyday but can’t get him to take bottle or anything either.

So at his appointment (with English speaker) he was seriously all smiles and wayy cute and the doctors and nurses were so obsessed with him and impressed at the milestones he’s reached at only four months (pushing up on arms, rolling, and can practically sit up on own now). They could find nothing wrong with him... so that’s good! Just have a very opinionated-healthy-growing-way-too-fast-grumpy boy.

So, now that I’ve vented full. . .  I wanted to focus on some blessings and things that have brought me joy during this time of struggle. Luke helped create some drawings for my ‘sunshine list’:

1. Honey Oat Bread- Such an easy bread recipe! We've been making this twice a week this month and even works in toaster oven. Fool proof! We modified with whole wheat, almond milk, and chia and flaxseed sprinkles!

2. The Happy Song
We discovered this song and it is SCIENTIFICALLY proven to make babies happy. We actually all really like it, and on repeat these days in our home.

3. Luke's donut shop- Luke's been pretty into his donut shop, creating decorations and cooking donuts for us, and even sleeping in it. Makes me smile.

4. Riley- I can't picture life without Riley, he does so much for your family and always has a 'big picture perspective' and helps me keep me sain. Excited to celebrate him this weekend for Father's Day. 

5. Zara- retail therapy works haha.... Zara had an online sale this week and was way excited for the deals and to got a couple items for me and the kids.

6. We get outside more and it feels good every time we do. 

7. Whoop Bands- we both got 'whoops' this past month and think they are the coolest little fitness and sleep tracker gadget. I'm impressed how accurate it seems and all the data it collects. 

8. Virtual Girl's Camp- this week also was our stake virtual girl's camp. I didn't join too many classes and devotions unfortunately. . .  but the last day I joined a great inspiring class about 'women in the scriptures' and ward testimony meeting and was able to share my testimony and felt strengthened in sharing and touched by the spirit and how blessed I am for the gospel. I created this logo weeks ago, but the words 'Hear Him on your journey' really hit me this week and was the message I needed. 

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